When Your Child Isn’t Getting Enough Game Time: 8 Things Every Soccer Parent Should Know
Watching your child sit on the bench can be tough — especially when you know how much they love the game. If you’re feeling frustrated or heartbroken for them, you’re not alone. Many caring parents face this moment and wonder: Should I say something? Should we switch teams? Is this hurting my child’s confidence?
Take a deep breath. Here are 8 thoughtful things you can do to support your child emotionally, build resilience, and keep their love for soccer strong — no matter how many minutes they play.
1. Ask, Don’t Assume
Start by asking how your child feels about their playing time. They may be more okay with it than you think — or they might need your support to talk through it.
You can ask:
“How did you feel during the game today?”
“Is there anything you want to work on for next time?”
Let their emotions guide the conversation. Listening first helps you respond in a way that actually meets their needs.
2. Remind Them of Their Value
Help your child see that being a great teammate matters just as much as scoring goals. Point out:
When they encouraged a teammate
When they helped clean up after practice
When they stayed engaged on the bench
These moments build character — and coaches notice them, even if they don’t always say it out loud.
3. Turn Bench Time Into Brain Time
If your child isn’t playing much, help them use that time to learn:
What strategies are working?
What do top players on the field do differently?
How does the coach respond to different situations?
Watching with curiosity can make your child a smarter, more well-rounded player — and might even lead to more minutes down the road.
4. Encourage Effort Outside of Games
If your child wants more game time, encourage them to practice small skills at home. This shows commitment and builds confidence.
Try:
15-minute juggling challenges
Fun backyard drills
Practicing passes with a parent or sibling
Even 10 minutes a day can make a big difference — and it’s a great way to connect as a family.
5. Support Respectful Self-Advocacy
Help your child practice what to say if they want to ask the coach for feedback:
“Coach, I really love playing soccer and want to help the team more. Is there anything I should work on to earn more minutes?”
This builds communication skills, confidence, and responsibility — all skills that last way beyond the field.
6. Read Stories That Reflect Their Experience
Sometimes, kids don’t want another pep talk — they want to feel understood. Reading soccer stories together can help them see that other kids face setbacks, too.
Look for books where characters:
Sit on the bench but grow over time
Learn to be leaders off the field
Struggle, but keep showing up
These stories spark hope and resilience — and turn reading into something meaningful.
7. Stay Positive Around the Game
It’s tempting to vent frustration after games, but kids take their emotional cues from you. Instead of saying, “I can’t believe the coach didn’t play you,” try:
“I loved how focused you stayed today.”
“You were such a great teammate.”
That kind of feedback helps your child stay proud and motivated, even during tough stretches.
8. Know When It’s Time to Explore New Options
If your child is consistently overlooked and starting to lose their spark, it’s okay to explore other teams or leagues that prioritize development over wins.
You’re not quitting — you’re advocating. Every child deserves a place where they feel valued, challenged, and joyful.
A Final Note: Your Presence Means More Than Play Time
Whether your child plays five minutes or the whole game, the thing they’ll remember most is you — cheering, encouraging, and walking beside them. This moment might be tough, but it’s also a chance to build resilience, character, and closeness.
And hey, if you need a little boost too, there’s nothing like curling up with your child and a good soccer book — the kind where the benchwarmer becomes the quiet hero. 💛
Let me know if you want a list of stories like that — I’d love to share some favorites.
You’re doing great, soccer parent. Keep showing up — it matters more than you know.
